I tried to end it but it helped me to survive

I tried to stop thinking of you,

To stop this pain,

I thought this would be life,

I was dying the instant I tried.

I tried to lie, that I can forget you,

It went worse; you are now all over my mind.

Then I screamed, that I am ok without you,

It came out wrong; I said I am still waiting for you sunshine.

I tried to fill your heart with my love,

Though it was empty, still everything was spilling over.

So I asked god to help me, I asked him to make you mine,

He smiled and said I can't help you with this, it's her life and it's for her to decide.

I was looking in a mirror,

I saw you there, you were smiling, and you look beautiful as ever.

I tried to come over it, I tried to cry,

Your memories showed up, piercing my heart still making me smile.

Once I even tried to hate you,

But it ended even before it could survive,

Instantly, I close my eyes to see you one more time,

Now, I never ever wanna open them; I wanna be with you every single second, every time.

I tried to end it,

I tried to die.

I end up with living with your dreams,

You became my life.

Now, Though I am tired and I want it to over,

And my mind says it can't take it anymore.

Still I love you like never before,

My heart says, I want to love you even more.

He says, he knows she will understand it sometime,

It's just, she can't do it now, she need some time,

She will ultimately be mine.